第29章
作者:歌德(J.W. von Goethe) 更新:2021-11-25 10:33
I said to myself, "can
she , too, be like the rest ?" I felt annoyed, and was about to withdraw
; but I remained , notwithstanding, forming excuses for her conduct,
fancying she did not mean it, and still hoping to receive some friendly
recognition. The rest of the company now arrived. There was the Baron
F ——, in an entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I.
; the Chancellor N ——, with his deaf wife ; the shabbily-dressed
I ——, whose old-fashioned coat bore evidence of modern repairs : this
crowned the whole. I conversed with some of my acquaintances, but they
answered me laconically. I was engaged in observing Miss B——, and did
not notice that the women were whispering at the end of the room, that
the murmur extended by degrees to the men , that Madame S—— addressed
the count with much warmth(this was all related to me subsequently by
Miss B——); till at length the count came up to me , and took me to
the window. "You know our ridiculous customs," he said. "I perceive the
company is rather displeased at your being here. I would not on any account
——" "I beg your excellency's pardon !" I exclaimed. "I ought to have
thought of this before, but I know you will forgive this little inattention.
I was going ," I added , "some time ago , but my evil genius detained
me." And I smiled and bowed , to take my leave. He shook me by the hand,
in a manner which expressed everything. I hastened at once from the illustrious
assembly, sprang into a carriage , and drove to M ——。 I contemplated
the setting sun from the top of the hill, and read that beautiful passage
in Homer, where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen. This
was indeed delightful. I returned home to supper in the evening. But few
persons were assembled in the room. They had turned up a corner of the
table-cloth , and were playing at dice. The good-natured A —— came
in. He laid down his hat when he saw me , approached me, and said in
a low tone, "You have met with a disagreeable adventure." "I !" I exclaimed.
"The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly!" "Deuce take the
assembly!" said I. "I was very glad to be gone." "I am delighted ,"
he added, "that you take it so lightly. I am only sorry that it is already
so much spoken of." The circumstance then began to pain me. I fancied
that every one who sat down , and even looked at me, was thinking of
this incident ; and my heart became embittered.
And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom , when I hear myself
everywhere pitied , and observe the triumph of my enemies, who say that
this is always the case with vain persons , whose heads are turned with
conceit , who affect to despise forms and such petty , idle nonsense.
Say what you will of fortitude, but show me the man who can patiently
endure the laughter of fools, when they have obtained an advantage over
him. 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can
suffer it without complaint.
MARCH 16. Everything conspires against me. I met Miss B —— walking
to-day. I could not help joining her; and, when we were at a little
distance from her companions, I expressed my sense of her altered manner
toward me. "O Werther !" she said, in a tone of emotion , "you , who
know my heart , how could you so ill interpret my distress ? What did
I not suffer for you, from the moment you entered the room ! I foresaw
it all, a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning it to you. I
knew that the S ——s and T ——s , with their husbands, would quit
the room, rather than remain in your company. I knew that the count would
not break with them : and now so much is said about it." "How!"
she , too, be like the rest ?" I felt annoyed, and was about to withdraw
; but I remained , notwithstanding, forming excuses for her conduct,
fancying she did not mean it, and still hoping to receive some friendly
recognition. The rest of the company now arrived. There was the Baron
F ——, in an entire suit that dated from the coronation of Francis I.
; the Chancellor N ——, with his deaf wife ; the shabbily-dressed
I ——, whose old-fashioned coat bore evidence of modern repairs : this
crowned the whole. I conversed with some of my acquaintances, but they
answered me laconically. I was engaged in observing Miss B——, and did
not notice that the women were whispering at the end of the room, that
the murmur extended by degrees to the men , that Madame S—— addressed
the count with much warmth(this was all related to me subsequently by
Miss B——); till at length the count came up to me , and took me to
the window. "You know our ridiculous customs," he said. "I perceive the
company is rather displeased at your being here. I would not on any account
——" "I beg your excellency's pardon !" I exclaimed. "I ought to have
thought of this before, but I know you will forgive this little inattention.
I was going ," I added , "some time ago , but my evil genius detained
me." And I smiled and bowed , to take my leave. He shook me by the hand,
in a manner which expressed everything. I hastened at once from the illustrious
assembly, sprang into a carriage , and drove to M ——。 I contemplated
the setting sun from the top of the hill, and read that beautiful passage
in Homer, where Ulysses is entertained by the hospitable herdsmen. This
was indeed delightful. I returned home to supper in the evening. But few
persons were assembled in the room. They had turned up a corner of the
table-cloth , and were playing at dice. The good-natured A —— came
in. He laid down his hat when he saw me , approached me, and said in
a low tone, "You have met with a disagreeable adventure." "I !" I exclaimed.
"The count obliged you to withdraw from the assembly!" "Deuce take the
assembly!" said I. "I was very glad to be gone." "I am delighted ,"
he added, "that you take it so lightly. I am only sorry that it is already
so much spoken of." The circumstance then began to pain me. I fancied
that every one who sat down , and even looked at me, was thinking of
this incident ; and my heart became embittered.
And now I could plunge a dagger into my bosom , when I hear myself
everywhere pitied , and observe the triumph of my enemies, who say that
this is always the case with vain persons , whose heads are turned with
conceit , who affect to despise forms and such petty , idle nonsense.
Say what you will of fortitude, but show me the man who can patiently
endure the laughter of fools, when they have obtained an advantage over
him. 'Tis only when their nonsense is without foundation that one can
suffer it without complaint.
MARCH 16. Everything conspires against me. I met Miss B —— walking
to-day. I could not help joining her; and, when we were at a little
distance from her companions, I expressed my sense of her altered manner
toward me. "O Werther !" she said, in a tone of emotion , "you , who
know my heart , how could you so ill interpret my distress ? What did
I not suffer for you, from the moment you entered the room ! I foresaw
it all, a hundred times was I on the point of mentioning it to you. I
knew that the S ——s and T ——s , with their husbands, would quit
the room, rather than remain in your company. I knew that the count would
not break with them : and now so much is said about it." "How!"
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