I could
  often beseech them， on my bended knees ， to be less resolved upon their
  own destruction.
  FEBRUARY 17. I fear that my ambassador and I shall not continue much
  longer together. He is really growing past endurance. He transacts his
  business in so ridiculous a manner， that I am often compelled to contradict
  him ， and do things my own way ； and then ， of course， he thinks them
  very ill done. He complained of me lately on this account at court； and
  the minister gave me a reprimand，—— a gentle one it is true， but still
  a reprimand. In consequence of this ， I was about to tender my resignation，
  when I received a letter， to which I submitted with great respect， on
  account of the high ， noble， and generous spirit which dictated it.
  He endeavoured to soothe my excessive sensibility ， paid a tribute to
  my extreme ideas of duty， of good example， and of perseverance in business，
  as the fruit of my youthful ardour， an impulse which he did not seek
  to destroy， but only to moderate ， that it might have proper play and
  be productive of good. So now I am at rest for another week ， and no
  longer at variance with myself. Content and peace of mind are valuable
  things： I could wish ， my dear friend ， that these precious jewels
  were less transitory.
  FEBRUARY 20. God bless you， my dear friends， and may he grant you
  that happiness which he denies to me！
  I thank you ， Albert ， for having deceived me. I waited for the
  news that your wedding-day was fixed； and I intended on that day ， with
  solemnity ， to take down Charlotte's profile from the wall ， and to
  bury it with some other papers I possess. You are now united， and her
  picture still remains here. Well， let it remain！ Why should it not？
  I know that I am still one of your society， that I still occupy a place
  uninjured in Charlotte's heart， that I hold the second place therein
  ； and I intend to keep it. Oh， I should become mad if she could forget！
  Albert， that thought is hell ！ Farewell ， Albert farewell， angel of
  heaven farewell ， Charlotte！
  MARCH 15. I have just had a sad adventure ， which will drive me away
  from here. I lose all patience！—— Death！—— It is not to be remedied
  ； and you alone are to blame ， for you urged and impelled me to fill
  a post for which I was by no means suited. I have now reason to be satisfied，
  and so have you ！ But， that you may not again attribute this fatality
  to my impetuous temper， I send you ， my dear sir， a plain and simple
  narration of the affair ， as a mere chronicler of facts would describe
  it.
  The Count of O—— likes and distinguishes me. It is well known ，
  and I have mentioned this to you a hundred times. Yesterday I dined with
  him. It is the day on which the nobility are accustomed to assemble at
  his house in the evening. I never once thought of the assembly， nor that
  we subalterns did not belong to such society. Well， I dined with the
  count ； and， after dinner ， we adjourned to the large hall. We walked
  up and down together： and I conversed with him ， and with Colonel B
  ——， who joined us； and in this manner the hour for the assembly approached.
  God knows ， I was thinking of nothing， when who should enter but the
  honourable Lady accompanied by her noble husband and their silly， scheming
  daughter， with her small waist and flat neck ； and， with disdainful
  looks and a haughty air they passed me by. As I heartily detest the whole
  race， I determined upon going away ； and only waited till the count
  had disengaged himself from their impertinent prattle ， to take leave，
  when the agreeable Miss B —— came in. As I never meet her without experiencing
  a heartfelt pleasure， I stayed and talked to her ， leaning over the
  back of her chair ， and did not perceive ， till after some time ， that
  she seemed a little confused， and ceased to answer me with her usual
  ease of manner. I was struck with it. "Heavens！"