第39章
作者:歌德(J.W. von Goethe)    更新:2021-11-25 10:33
  he answered,
  as he came nearer to me. "In my garden there are roses and honeysuckles
  of two sorts: one sort was given to me by my father! they grow as plentifully
  as weeds; I have been looking for them these two days, and cannot find
  them. There are flowers out there , yellow , blue , and red; and that
  centaury has a very pretty blossom: but I can find none of them." I observed
  his peculiarity , and therefore asked him, with an air of indifference,
  what he intended to do with his flowers. A strange smile overspread his
  countenance. Holding his finger to his mouth, he expressed a hope that
  I would not betray him; and he then informed me that he had promised
  to gather a nosegay for his mistress. "That is right," said I. "Oh !
  " he replied, "she possesses many other things as well : she is very
  rich." "And yet ," I continued , "she likes your nosegays." "Oh , she
  has jewels and crowns !" he exclaimed. I asked who she was. "If the states-general
  would but pay me," he added, "I should be quite another man. Alas !
  there was a time when I was so happy; but that is past , and I am now
  ——" He raised his swimming eyes to heaven. "And you were happy once ?
  " I observed. "Ah , would I were so still!" was his reply. "I was then
  as gay and contented as a man can be." An old woman , who was coming
  toward us , now called out , "Henry , Henry! where are you? We have
  been looking for you everywhere : come to dinner." "Is he your son ?
  " I inquired, as I went toward her. "Yes ," she said: "he is my poor,
  unfortunate son. The Lord has sent me a heavy affliction." I asked whether
  he had been long in this state. She answered, "He has been as calm as
  he is at present for about six months. I thank Heaven that he has so far
  recovered : he was for one whole year quite raving , and chained down
  in a madhouse. Now he injures no one, but talks of nothing else than
  kings and queens. He used to be a very good , quiet youth, and helped
  to maintain me; he wrote a very fine hand; but all at once he became
  melancholy, was seized with a violent fever, grew distracted, and is
  now as you see. If I were only to tell you, sir——" I interrupted her
  by asking what period it was in which he boasted of having been so happy.
  "Poor boy !" she exclaimed , with a smile of cormpassion, "he means
  the time when he was completely deranged, a time he never ceases to regret,
  when he was in the madhouse , and unconscious of everything." I was thunderstruck
  : I placed a piece of money in her hand, and hastened away.
  "You were happy !" I exclaimed , as I returned quickly to the town,
  "'as gay and contented as a man can be!'" God of heaven! and is this
  the destiny of man? Is he only happy before he has acquired his reason,
  or after he has lost it ? Unfortunate being! And yet I envy your fate
  : I envy the delusion to which you are a victim. You go forth with joy
  to gather flowers for your princess ,—— in winter,—— and grieve
  when you can find none, and cannot understand why they do not grow. But
  I wander forth without joy, without hope , without design ; and I return
  as I came. You fancy what a man you would be if the states general paid
  you. Happy mortal , who can ascribe your wretchedness to an earthly cause!
  You do not know , you do not feel, that in your own distracted heart
  and disordered brain dwells the source of that unhappiness which all the
  potentates on earth cannot relieve.
  Let that man die unconsoled who can deride the invalid for undertaking
  a journey to distant, healthful springs, where he often finds only a
  heavier disease and a more painful death, or who can exult over the despairing
  mind of a sinner, who, to obtain peace of conscience and an alleviation
  of misery , makes a pilgrimage to the Holy Sepulchre. Each laborious
  step which galls his wounded feet in rough and untrodden paths pours a
  drop of balm into his troubled soul , and the journey of many a weary
  day brings a nightly relief to his anguished heart. Will you dare call
  this enthusiasm , ye crowd of pompous declaimers ?